20061122

say em.



a million thoughts cross my mind now
and
there's so much i wanna say to you
but
there aren't enough words.

today found me surrounded by amazing leo energies, & tonight is like christmas eve. i'm tryin to sleep, but the excitement is too overbearin. i'm not even sweatin the 530am pickup or the 7-hour car ride. my mind is racin a million thoughts now, but i'm afraid to say em out loud.

marcia said somethin to me 2day that keeps ringin in my head & confusin the shit outta my heart. i guess the reality of it all is that she's right, & one day (hopefully not so soon) it's all gonna come to a boilin point...and the pot is gonna overflow...and that may just be the best thing ever.

in the meantime, i'm gonna act like she doesn't know what she's talkin about.

"10 years gone" says it all for me. beyond the lyrics, the chord changes make me wet in my pants but..that's a whole other short story entitled, "...like a fourteen year old boy".

most immediate random thought: i heart cosmopolitan magazine. no, it's not my fave piece of glossy literature and no, i don't spend my dollars on it. i just flip thru when i'm gettin coiffed, & i just can't get enough of it. useless yet entertainin fluff meant to recharge one's self-esteem although it comes across as simple bullshit entertainment. funny anecdotes. sex quizzes. dinner party ideas. celeb polls. blah blah blah. i love it almost as much as i love us weekly. note i said "almost".

you'll be happy to know
that
this mornin's pyschological distress has since calmed.
thank god.

it may also delight you to know
that
i came up with a design for my next tattoo.
it'll for sure be a doozy. i can't believe i'm gonna endure such detail on such a tender part of my body.
halfway thru i'll realize that maybe i made a mistake.

u know that lil internal rage-o-meter that's sposed to warn u when you're about to go into overdrive?...yeah, well...mine is broke.

dammit man, thank god for sa-ra creative partners.

J'ai frappe un point d'aucun retour. le delire pur.

please hammer don't hurt em.