the back log : hump day, manic monday, & 2day.


yes. i know that it is no longer wednesday, but i have a good story jotted in my lil notepad from weds, march 7 that i would love to share with u.

*ahem*

"hump day.
actually
harumph day. man, i am a hot tea kettle rite now, so please allow me to blow off some steam.
bad karma from some unknown event bit me in my ass today.
first
lemme back track...

6 days ago: thursday. what a wonderful day spent with my partner in crime, the hardest workin bookin agent in town, & her lover (who just so happens to be inna fresh ass rap group w/ a woman's name. that wonderful day turned into an even lovelier nite complete with the perfect kisses, hilarious new friends, middle fingers, a mechanical robot hand, & awesome cleavage. yes. there are photos. no. they're not blurry. so sorry. can't embed em. although (as always) the friggin internet keeps the kid in the picture. good luck with the google search.

5 days ago : friday. woke up super early & extra hazy. how i tore myself from ur bed, i don't know, but the sun was shinin & the weather was fair. met the prez of wb & dazzled him. spent the nite barin my soul to some very lovely people. after that. well. i danced the dance & went to bed happy. love it.

4 days prior : saturday. 80 degrees spent doin laundry & recuperatin. the nite promised to be fun filled as i was set to spin a small set at a super cool party for a super cool jewelry designer.

i'll expound :
no. i'm not a dj. i don't scratch & flip vinyl tricks. summa my mixes are crumy sometimes dependin on how much wine has been consumed. i simply have cool taste in music, & i love to play songs for people. therefore, i like to call myself a selector, or if u will, a "me-jay" (thanks hza).

so. back to saturday's program. i rocked my set. got the girls grindin on the dancefloor. when it was all done i held his hand all the way back to his house for the late nite jam session & laugned my head off. somehow i always end up kissin drunk white girls, but that's a whole 'nother story & photo essay for a whole 'nother day.

finally : sunday. the weather was just as beautiful as the day before. i crawled out of ur bed & raced home to pack for my red-eye flight to nyc. yeah. back to the frosty fuckin apple. i shoulda won an award for my perfect packin job. my partner in crime came by to keep me company. we're two lil pothead peas inna pod. nitefall hits & its finally time to hit the airport. why nyc, u ask?

  • well...


  • yeah. so people are takin this dj thing pretty seriously. man. i was so prepared. perfect setlist, great mixes, lovely company, my computer based set-up that low & behold wasn't compatible with the club's existing set-up although the promoter told me it would be all good. the friggin "sound guy" was the least helpful jackass i've ever worked with. thankfully dj kiss is a beautiful (& talented) lady who was gracious enuff to let me rock her serato for my set. i must pat myself on the back cuz i was completley wingin it. when it was all said & done i took a deep breath, hit my table, popped a shot of vodka, & lapdanced myself into a happy oblivion. struck some crazy poses, kissed the cool boys & girls, left the club a lil wobbly & the rest is..ya know..

    a lil bad karma
    but
    nothin like what i endured 2day (march 7..remember? this is a belated post).
    hang tight.
    i'm gettin there.

    argh : tuesday. i could barely open my eyes, i was so wrecked. thank u for forcin water & gatorade down my throat. the day was completely ours. i started by payin (or what i though was payin) my cell bill before the service was suspended. went on abt my day. bared the freezin wind chill. spent the evenin catchin up with my twin & his beautiful love. hit the sack early enuff to wake up on time for my early mornin jetblue flight to oakland.

    finally : today. a quarter to six. i wanna cry, i am so tired. so not a mornin person, so i apologize if my convo was null & void. somehow, i manage to successfully repack my suitcase. hit the street to catch a cab & fuck me : it's snowin. okay. don't panic. it's not enuff to ground flights, he says. so i make it to the airport, check in & try to make a call on my cell...

    "ur service has been temporarily interrupted..."

    wtf?? i swear i paid the bill. tmobile is sayin no payment went thru. so, where the fuck is my 150 bucks??? disconnected from customer service 2wice. placed on hold for like 30 min. systems have been funky the past few days. blah blah blah. tryin to reach cali folks by pay phone at 5am pst. no answers. i'm friggin exhausted & in tears.

    light bulb : "oh! i'll send emails so people know my status.."

    smart move, right? yeah. coulda been. till i open my bag, pull out my computer, see the 10% battery juice & reach for my charger to realize that it's still at my hotel.

    lovely. at least the plane is still on time considerin it's still snowin. board the plane. hit my middle seat. instantly fall asleep. 1 hour late : wake up & we're still on the ground.

    " due to weather we have to de-ice the plane. should take about 15 min, then we should be cleared for departure 30 min after."

    cool. i go back to sleep. 1 hour later : wake up & we're still on the ground!

    "so, we de-iced the plane, but since we've been sittin here waitin for our clearance to take off we will not have enough gas to make it all the way to oakland. we'll have to stop in salt lake, gas up, then head to oakland."

    fuckin a, man. fuckin a. i'm sposed to be in sf for a show 2nite. i have soundcheck at 4pm. my partner in crime finally calls & i'm able to get my pick-up straight. he tells me not to worry, & i heed his advice. till...

    "okay, so the de-icing we did is only made to last 40 min & it's been more than that so we have to de-ice it again, then hopefully we can take off soon after."

    i start to hallucinate. i'm oh so claustro, squished between two big dudes (one of whom barked on me for still bein on the phone even tho the flight attendant told everyone to turn em off. fucker). some bitch gets up & tells the flight attendant that she is gonna flip out if the captain doesn't take the plane back to the gate so she can get off.

    "so, i understand that there are some people threatenin to cause a disturbance if they can't go back to the gate, so i have to call the company & decide whether to proceed with the flight or turn around."

    fuuuuuuck that. i go up to the flight attendant to see what the situation is, to which she explains that if 1 person threatens to act up on a flight it becomes a security issue & they have to oblige the person & let them off. to turn the plan around & go back to the gate would take 2 hours that i, nor everybody else save for this idiot, do not have. so. i politely tell the flight attendant that i threaten to bitch slap somebody if they don't get the fuckin plane off the ground asap.

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    (the effects of medical marijuana)

    anyway. so. once i talk them into not kickin me off the flight for threatenin people with "bitch slaps", i realize that 3.5 hours have passed & we are still sittin on the runway. good ol jetblue. the bill of rights states that if the plane doesn't take off within 3 hours of boardin everyone gets a $100 credit. fuck the credit. i'll prolly never wanna fly this friggin airline again. yeah. i understand that the weather was the main cause, so i'm salty with nyc right now too (& if i can help it i won't be hittin the east coast again till winter is done).

    a 2nd de-ice. a decision to take off despite that 1 person's resistance. gas stop in salt lake. stacks upon stacks of pizza hut pizza that the captain ordered in. the plane has a minor meltdown just before take off. my nerves on edge cuz i'm fuckin up the sf show sched. now i'm flyin the unfriendly skies, shakin with angst, sick to my stomach cuz i haven't eaten thus far, & dyin to get back to u & my bed.

    lord, what did i do to deserve this??

    musta been somethin horrible. has the worst passed? i guess we shall see. should be interestin. i didn't get to rehearse with my band due to this nyc gig, & i'm definitely not makin soundcheck, so i'm just gonna have to go for the fuckin gusto 2nite. wish me luck.

    beyond that frightenin story, i've caught up on lotsa reality tv lately & i must say a few things :

    1. ain't it funny how the ugliest people dictate who & what's beautiful?
    2. i fuckin love new york.
    3. brooke from the real world denver needs some fuckin prozac.

    also, i have a shit list 2 miles long these days, & (sad to say) someone in the j*d camp is #1 on that list. in all honesty, this whole dramatic travel experience coulda been avoided had this person been on top of things. i mean, that's this person's j...."

    then
    my lil red & white museum pencil ran out of lead.
    yeah.
    that was the longest most boring story you've ever read right?
    my touch of fate was rather anti-climactic.
    but
    u "listened".
    so
    there.

    the results of it all were rather nice : my phone was cut back on. i did happen to make it to soundcheck on time. the show fuckin rocked. we all got drunk. made it home safe the next day, & voila.

    monday, mar 12. my weekend was glorious. full of open ended creativity & calmly solved friction. the weather was hot, so the clothes were scarce.
    there was spray paint
    &
    chuck taylors
    &
    rum-filled bong hits
    &
    impromptu 4-hour dj sets
    &
    the most beautiful view from robin thicke's balcony
    &
    hmm. all kinds of other stuff.

    tuesday was spent outside in echo park smokin pot & brown baggin tecate. weds was reserved for work. last nite was an artistic journey thru vodka & del taco sponsored by tofer (plain gravy) & marijuana. more on all this later. yes. there will be pictures.

    sorry.
    this is the most ramblin blog i ever did write. but it's been a while.
    so much to tell
    although
    i really don't know where to start.
    next blog : "wanna know why J*DaVeY never made it to SXSW?"
    or maybe it should be : "the reason why i am jealous of paula patton"
    or perhaps : "she's a maneater !"
    or who knows?
    just stay tuned....