i know, i know . . .
i left u hangin on the end of my line .
i'd like to blame it on my busy schedule , but i can't keep usin that as an excuse , huh ?
i'll simply blame it on the fact that i haven't had much to say lately .
and no
that doesn't mean i haven't been up to much
it just means that
so much is goin on that i don't know how to put it all in writin .
or maybe i just don't wanna talk about it .
but
what kinda blog would this be if i never wanted to talk about anything ?
a boring one .
that's what kind .
in no particular order here's a list of random shit that is currently on my bird :
one . . . yesterday i was hit with the reality that i am no longer a free thinkin individual , but a part of a conglomerate that has my future planned to a tee . therefore , before i make any decisions for myself i have to enlist the opinions of my male counterparts . as strong willed as i am , the hardest part about all of this is that i must relinquish some of what i want for other people . i guess this is what marriage & motherhood is like . total femasculation . yes . i made that one up myself .
two . . . i had this grand idea that makin an album would be easy since my partner & i have been so great at formulatin good song ideas . what a fool i am . the hardest part isn't comin up with the ideas , but finishin them .
three . . . label people are complete idiots who think they know everything , when in actuality the only thing they should know is how to manage my future money & shut up .
four . . . i think it's finally happenin . bein the abnormal girl who never dreamt of proposals , wedding processions , and happily ever after , i never really knew how to fall . up until now i've been so good at what jojo calls , "fallin out just as quickly as i fall in" . well , i'm definitely not fallin out so i guess it's safe to say i'm happy these days & thinkin of a lot of things i wasn't thinkin of before . so , even if it doesn't turn out to be you , thanks for turnin me into a believer .
five . . . i'm sick to death of all these "cool kids" who are bringin the 90s back in style like they were old enough to do anything without their parent's permission back then . take ur airbrush/faux raiders gear/neon/mismatch shoe/extra'd out flare/wannabe south central gangsta shit back to pasadena . like forreal , i'm all for bein a hip kid , but summa yous is takin this hipster shit waaaaaay too far . and for the white kids , you are not allowed to call each other "nigga" . not cuz it's strictly a "black thing" , but you just sound dumb when you say it . oh , and just cuz ur cool & on the scene DOES NOT mean you should be inna band/rap group/production team . why don't u just leave the music to the professionals & go shave three lines in the side of ur hi top fade already ?
six . . . am i the only one who thinks barack obama should wait till 2012 to run for president ? i think he's great , but do we really want the first black president to come in after the disaster that is idiot bush & have to bear the brunt of cleanin up the mess of the past 8 years ? that's just stressful . take it easy for a few more years , obama . let hillary burn herself out cleanin up after bushwick & then come in on ur white horse like a hero . or do what u want . i vote green anyway .
seven . . . sorry absolut mandarin . my new love is now maker's mark . on the rocks or with a lil ginger ale . smooth. like a newborn baby's ass .
eight . . . my party train derailment didn't last like i knew it wouldn't , so i will no longer make any false promises . it's summertime for fuck's sake . who am i to deny myself ?
nine . . . my summer must haves : tangerine nail polish , carol's daughter mango melange , short dresses , & gold accents .
ten . . . yesterday was the first time i've cried in months . it felt weird . i was always a big fan of cryin , but i've been so happy go fuck me lately that i haven't wanted to waste the time sheddin tears over pointless things . the flood gates opened & i let loose 3 times . i just couldn't stop . pms much ? not even . regardless , it made me realize the genuity of my newfound happiness . no need for stress & tears when the weather is warm & the sun is hi . thus , i woke up in the middle of the bed this mornin with a poundin headache from last night's debauchery & a crooked smile . life is good .
eleven . . . this is the first time in my life that i'm honestly able to say : "i love my body " . boney , sharp edges , knobby knees , scars , & all . somehow , i managed to tan beautifully , my skin is clear , & i'm finally startin to fill out . i'm kinda feelin myself , but i won't tell u how much for fear of soundin too vain . ha . like i care .
twelve . . . fast ride , fancy automobile . when they wonder , u reply , "ur just as good as u feel" . and u walk around like u invented the wheel . ain't it funny ? everything u can imagine is real .
fuck today .
i'm livin for tomorrow .
"dreamer ." . . . yeah . so what ?