20070919

maybe today . . .



my luck will change .
maybe today's my lucky day .
hump day . perfect day to play the lottery . while money is low & bein broke is a drag i am feelin rather accomplished . when i'm feelin down abt my income status i stop & take a deep breath & realize that the money is comin . how soon ? i'm not sure . there are so many things in the works that all i can do is hurry up & wait . plus , why stress somethin that shouldn't have as much power as it does ? is that too utopian of me to say ? that money shouldn't have power , even tho i live in a capitalist country & i work for a major corporation ? i just don't give it as much power as it already has . just as quickly as it comes , it goes & then it comes back again . there's always that ebb & flow . the strugglin artist thing definitely ain't no joke , but it's a necessary process . it makes the skin tougher , the hustle more consistent , & the humility more apparent . i know what i'm doin this for , & if it was for the money i woulda stopped doin it a long time ago . i just gotta slow down my expectations & realize that i'm right where i need to be . if i was sposed to be inna better place i would be . timin is everything & maybe it has nothin to do with me . it's some celestial prophecy that has already been presupposed . oh shit , now i'm gettin quasi-spiritual abt somethin that i'm not sure i believe . lemme take a step back .

recently i'm startin to put together all the pieces of this puzzle . makin a record is 95% politics & 5% music . the suits are only worried abt sales & revenue when they should be concerned with the product that will in turn positively or negatively affect the sales & revenue . instead of makin intelligent creative decisions they make decisions based on their political obligations , i.e. which producers they owe , who's dick they need to suck now to bust their nut later , etc . nobody is really payin attn to what's happenin . there's a major shift occurrin in the industry now & nobody is willin to take the first step to accomodate the shift . instead of listenin to the consumer , who is sayin , "fuck the radio ! fuck mtv & bet ! myspace , itunes , youtube, yeah !" , the suits are still content with trustin their old formula & watchin their relevance take major dives on the stock market . everybody is screamin for a change , but noone wants to be the first one to change things . even the ppl that should be on the artists' side , i.e management , lawyers , etc , don't wanna put their cock's on the table for the sake of change . frustratin . especially when u pour ur heart out endlessly in the studio only for these idiots to say , "it's not good enough , try again" .

um . i really don't know what i'm ventin abt today . the songs we're workin on this week are awesome & it's all comin together . it's just an interestin place to be in . there's never enough money to do what we wanna do . everybody needs to get paid for their services , but the ppl with the money don't wanna pay unless it's lucrative for them . ah , what a strange game to play , ay ?

whatever . i'm just talkin for the sake of gettin shit off my chest .
consider me crumplin this up & throwin it in the trash .