i can only define myself by these moments...
the ones when I'm barely aware of who & what I turly want to be . . .
those moments when everything I've known for so long begin to speak to me in a voice so loudly that I can only sit in the corner of my retarded consciousness & cry . . .
these are real tears of self-awareness
i told myself that I was on a path toward real love & acceptance .
perhaps there is no such thing
maybe it's just my inadequacy speaking .
. . . . . . . . . . .
promise i won't re-read then delete this tomorrow .
a real "retard" can deal with the dramatics of (in this case) her actions .
donc il va .
go fuck yourself .
(hysterical tears of . . . um . . . joy ? . . . ha .yeah , sure .)
feel free to pay me no mind whatsoever !