thursday whatever .

it's thursday . khari , brook , & i are now on the bolt bus leaving philly . headed to the apple . blah blah blah , u already know the story . we're doing an event for red bull tonight in soho & i can't wait to throw some vodka in the mix & get a little loose . unbeknownst to u , thursday is my fave day of the week . no matter what city i travel to it's unanimous that thursday is the best night to party ; the weekends are too "bridge & tunnel" & the other days of the week are fun , but no where near as live as thursday . who knows where i'll end up tonight , but i promise to have a few appropriate photos to share . . . i hope . we'll see . regardless , i'll be in the mix of dear friends so i'm already full with emotion : georgie , bella , & peanut will there , as will jasi benjamin , my darling nikki , zoe k , & our la cronies , tiya & ade . yay . i owe myself some fun tonight since i was unable to glow in the dark at madison square garden last night . argh . so upset , but i understand that maybe it just wasn't in the cards for me to behold that show . kanye will have to devise a new & improved visual & musical spectacle (if he hasn't already come up with it , the man is light years ahead of all of us) for me to enjoy , because this event passed me by 3 different times . much thanks to ye & don anyway for the tix that went unused . sad face like major , man .

i'm bursting with excitement abt tonight's set because we actually took time to rehearse meticulously & really work out the set . we always rehearse , but this time we really went thru each song & fine tuned the arrangements . i love that we're able to reinvent ourselves everytime we play , allowing nothing to ever get stale or boring . we're showcasing talent , but figuring out how to finish the actual recordings in the studio simultaneously . we're getting up there & throwing darts . or so it feels . what an amazing life . . . i get to make & play music & meet people & travel & sit in a studio all day listening & conceptualizing & talking shit & eating , drinking , intoxicating , & outdoing myself . even when i'm dead broke i still can't complain . is that not the meaning of it all ? lately i'm so full of emotion , but i'm not quite sure which emotion i'm full of . am i exhausted , excited , overwhelmed , anxious , confused , in love , lust , horny , content or what ? am i looking / waiting for something ? wishing ? anticipating some big thing ? i was out a few weeks ago & a random psychic lady made it a point to come up to me & tell me that in 3 weeks something amazing would happen . well , i think we're hitting the 3 week mark . . . perhaps these butterflies are indicative of what the random psychic mentioned ? maybe i should get my gullible head out the clouds . . .

ahhhh .
back on the bolt bus .
speaking of , if ur not hip to the wonderfulness that is the bolt bus u may wanna hear me when i say that nothing beats cheap fares & wi-fi on a charter bus . later for the rundown chinatown , son . argh , my mind is a blur right now . i feel like i should be catching a few more zzzz's before dealing with the rest of this crazy day , but since i can't quite lock into an emotion at the moment i'm kinda at a standstill . like , i don't even know what to write anymore . perhaps this blog is becoming futile ; it has no direction , no real platform . i go to other blogs & they seem to have rhyme , reason , & purpose , then i come back to my own blog & i'm instantly bored . just another broad talking abt what's important to her & her only . like , who am i to think that anybody even really cares ? i just got off the phone with mister smith & he's requesting another email . nothing fancy , just a personalized ramble for him to sift thru as he's winding down his day . i say , but i don't have anything to say right now & he says , u always have something to say . so , i guess even if it's not the most interesting of things it's simply the gesture that counts ? i sure hope so . i would tell him to just read the blogs , but that's so impersonal , not to mention a no-no for those i truly want to get to know . what i write here could totally implicate things abt me that i'm not trying to portray . that doesn't make any sense really , but it's hard to tell the fiction from non-fiction on this thing so for fear of creating an insecure union i advise my hopefuls to stay away from this dreadful place until it's all said & done . i tell him to enter at his own risk . assume nothing & ask no questions . those are my rules . they're not meant to be fair . jack davey has spoken , yet briana continues to say nothing . . . unless it's in person . sometimes i let those two get mixed up . awful mistake .

back to reality .

here's an emotion : content . with everything . i'm dead in the middle of red & blue . wonder why .

i've gotta start carrying a flask . . .