20081217

well well well .



i've managed to let the process of finishing completely freak me the fuck out .
lately , i'm not communicating correctly . barely eating right . contemplating a million self-deprecating thoughts & then blaming them on everyone but the person in the mirror . being a baby . self-pity parties all day long . slowly snapping out of it , then falling right back into it at the drop of a hat . pushing everyone away . hmm . what a lonely process i've allowed this to become . perhaps i'm just anxious to dot the last i & cross the final t in this chapter so i can move on to new ideas . new emotions . new words . new days . maybe i've exhausted this entire scene . it's time for the new me to finally emerge . or time for the current me to shut the fuck up .

i'm sure many of u would opt for the latter .
is it as boring to read as it is to write ?

*smh & lol'ing*

"yup . i think she's finally lost it" . . .