20090818

mystery in le budoir .



i'm just now realizing how emo i must seem . a bit late , i know , but i guess i see myself differently than u do . how ? i'm not sure . i mean , it's rather obvious & has been since that thwarted suicide attempt in high school . i live in a cryptically dark comedy similar to a wes anderson film . i'm wondering lately why ppl can't handle darkness . quirkiness . the mystery that lies behind the brooding eyes . since childhood we're taught to use the corresponding face for the corresponding emotion , but does that mean i can't cry when i'm happy nor smile when i'm sad ? as humans we're insanely complex , yet some of us will live our whole lives trying to be simple . how boring that must be , faking perfection for the sake of others who can't handle the full spectrum of human emotions . luckily , i play by a different set of rules . or lack thereof . perhaps that's my problem .

i bet u can't tell that i am smiling right now . pa-pa-pa-poker face , pa-pa-poker faaaace . . .