the electronic mayhem of Jack Davey.

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on February 19, 2010

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home.

a lot has changed since the last time i truly considered this place to be a safe space. namely, I've changed. as a woman, as a lover, as an artist. somewhere along the way i became too scared to share. maybe because oversharing became so normal, so gratuitous. literally everyone started oversharing and it just didn't feel the same to me. it was no longer my private joy, my emotional outlet; it started to feel empty, homogenous. literally everyone was oversharing and somehow my misplaced ownership of something that should be celebrated convinced me to push my seat back from the table & withdraw my voice from the conversation. ego is an undying paramour . it's hard to be back here. i've thought about coming back so many times before...my draft folder reads like a car crash in slow motion, just cringy. so much has happened & i am not even sure how to begin but the first step to getting started is always the hardest to take. consider this my way of pulling my...

i'm scared. ...is that taboo? to be afraid; to feel fear. seems like these days we are innundated with so many "good vibes only", hyper-positivity reminders that we forget that we need to feel fear. the fear is the trigger to push thru or pass by & it's the toughest beast to stare in the eye. just when you think you have it all figured out something you really want or love or hate comes rushing at you & you're faced with that choice - push thru? pass by? i've always prided myself on doing the work. this entire blog WAS the work, facing myself at my darkest times and actually sharing it with others was therapy. allowing myself to be inspired by everything i saw...the travel, the drugs, the lovers, the books, the loneliness, the highs, the lows...i was in free feel. pushing thru AND passing by simultaneously. is that healing? is that the work i've been relying on to support my emotional intelligence? giving my attention to all things but at the sam...

BTS: Saint Luke x WYWH Maxi

WYWH. as in Wish You Were Here...an idea that poured out of me at the start of the global lockdown when i was craving closeness the most yet somehow running away from it at the same time. i'm notoriously great at romantic self-sabotage, and was feeling compelled to write about it but had no sonic landscape. I hadn't recorded in so long, and standing alone as a solo artist after being in a group for almost 20 years was scary for me. i didn't even know what i was hearing in my spirit, or what i wanted to sound like; i was spending my days riding around alone listening to Wu-Tang. complete isolation, dreaming while awake of being held, adored...left with nothing but time to explore my mind & heart...trying to figure out how to finally follow the latter. a beautiful mess. thank you Luke (a saint forreal) for swooping in at the perfect time and turning my rough ideas into fecund aural dreamscapes. can't wait to actually create with you in person. in other news, remind ...

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