the electronic mayhem of Jack Davey.

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on March 26, 2010

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home.

a lot has changed since the last time i truly considered this place to be a safe space. namely, I've changed. as a woman, as a lover, as an artist. somewhere along the way i became too scared to share. maybe because oversharing became so normal, so gratuitous. literally everyone started oversharing and it just didn't feel the same to me. it was no longer my private joy, my emotional outlet; it started to feel empty, homogenous. literally everyone was oversharing and somehow my misplaced ownership of something that should be celebrated convinced me to push my seat back from the table & withdraw my voice from the conversation. ego is an undying paramour . it's hard to be back here. i've thought about coming back so many times before...my draft folder reads like a car crash in slow motion, just cringy. so much has happened & i am not even sure how to begin but the first step to getting started is always the hardest to take. consider this my way of pulling my...

i'm scared. ...is that taboo? to be afraid; to feel fear. seems like these days we are innundated with so many "good vibes only", hyper-positivity reminders that we forget that we need to feel fear. the fear is the trigger to push thru or pass by & it's the toughest beast to stare in the eye. just when you think you have it all figured out something you really want or love or hate comes rushing at you & you're faced with that choice - push thru? pass by? i've always prided myself on doing the work. this entire blog WAS the work, facing myself at my darkest times and actually sharing it with others was therapy. allowing myself to be inspired by everything i saw...the travel, the drugs, the lovers, the books, the loneliness, the highs, the lows...i was in free feel. pushing thru AND passing by simultaneously. is that healing? is that the work i've been relying on to support my emotional intelligence? giving my attention to all things but at the sam...

end of our era .

i've always been this way . mysteriously transparent . knowingly self-centered . confused . yet willing , somehow . willing to open myself to all of you without caring about your rejection . your questions . your disapproval . i've always been this way . evolved ? sure . still me ? definitely . a lot has changed , yeah . i am deeply rooted in my purpose now . i am directly responsible for the well being of another human life . every single choice i make has to have my best interests in mind because they are tied to the interests of another . i no longer have time for fear or indecision . immobility . amateur-ity (i made that up , but it rolls off the tongue like it's always been a word so shrug) . . . allow me to reintroduce myself to you . let me direct you to the first page of this blog . read it in full & take me out of it . insert yourself into my perspective . connect . fucking feel something , then re-read this post . i have always been this way . the person pu...

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