20081228

New Years Eve in LA . . .



lets party like its ten years past 1999 !

20081225

r . i . p



thank u for sharing ur lovely gams , tantalizing puuuuurrr , & beautiful voice with the world . . .

20081222

f i e r c e .





naomi for chinese vogue . jan 2009 .

c r a z e .









collaboration between respected kimono makers , Odasho , & Wafrica .

20081221

dear Santa :

i'm dreaming of a white & black chrismahanakwanzaaka . . .



alexander wang racerback tank top inna size medium .



leather fringe skirt by topshop inna size 2 .




sam edelman's version of balenciaga's strapped runway ankle boot inna size 7.5 .

pls ? . . .
thx .

today .



i love waking up in the middle of the bed .

what a change from the previous week i had . i finally took a deep breath & settled into the finality of this process . i was starting to wonder if i was simply devoid of sanity , or if perhaps this was a common problem with artists . we get to a certain point in our creative lives where we forget how to deal with our creativity . the talent becomes the enemy . it's like being at turmoil with ur own very existence . we lose footing with who we are & what we're doing & why . there's pressure from all sides & it's hard to know who to trust , so we sometimes distrust ourselves .

what a lonely place .

channeling that duality in the music is something i toy with everyday , & perhaps that's what keeps me somewhat together . i'm releasing my experience through self-satire . . . hmm . . . i've said too much . okay . i'm not allowing myself to take me so seriously . my mind does enough of that , & i won't subject my music to the same torture .

& how is the music not a true reflection of ur mind ?

. . .

well , my studious friend , it is a true reflection of my mind , but only after it's traveled thru my heart . sometimes those two parts of me are at odds . that's turning out to sound like a great thing .

wait for it . . .

20081218

f i e r c e .

introducing ryan . . .





aka Ongina . . .
















dare to adore .

c u r r e n t l y . . .

sorry . i'm in a sickening hi fashion mood right now , it's annoying :

rick owen's black leather zip boots . . . top shop's kezia elastic lace-up shoes . . . vintage justin western boots . . . walford tights & body suits . . . alexander wang racerback tanks . . . tights by rodarte . . . erin wasson . . . slashed jeans . . . brazilian girls . . . cropped leather motorcycle jackets . . . black stretch trousers by corpus . . . little blonde french girls . . . vintage hi waist bell bottom jeans . . . giuseppe zanotti tri-color wedges . . . the prada fringe bag . . . c+ jewelry . . . walter steiger silver metallic pumps . . . kate lanphear . . . white lace leggings . . . givenchy patent leather lace-up booties . . . shoes by nicholas kirkwood . . . leather balmain dhoti trousers . . . christian louboutin studded heels for rodarte . . . fashion blogs . . .

my juices are flowing .

guilty pleasure .



why oh why do i love it so ? *lmfao*

c r a z e .



the SIG (self-energy converting sunglasses) have dye solar cells in the lenses that collect energy & enable it to power ur small devices through the power jack at the back of the frame . designed by Hyun-Joong Kim & Kwan-Seok Jeong . www.ubergizmo.com .

20081217

well well well .



i've managed to let the process of finishing completely freak me the fuck out .
lately , i'm not communicating correctly . barely eating right . contemplating a million self-deprecating thoughts & then blaming them on everyone but the person in the mirror . being a baby . self-pity parties all day long . slowly snapping out of it , then falling right back into it at the drop of a hat . pushing everyone away . hmm . what a lonely process i've allowed this to become . perhaps i'm just anxious to dot the last i & cross the final t in this chapter so i can move on to new ideas . new emotions . new words . new days . maybe i've exhausted this entire scene . it's time for the new me to finally emerge . or time for the current me to shut the fuck up .

i'm sure many of u would opt for the latter .
is it as boring to read as it is to write ?

*smh & lol'ing*

"yup . i think she's finally lost it" . . .

20081216

outta the window .

i fool me once again
so i pull out my favorite pen
i turn another page
it seems i'm getting older
but i barely know my age
maybe i'm just a figment of imaginary blame
i fool me once again
is it all in my head?
there i was so well adjusted on the wrong side of the bed
is there something u can tell me cuz i'm really feeling low
i swore i knew the way
i thought i knew just where to go
thought i had something to say
what do i know ?

i don't know what to say
what do i know ?
i don't know where to go
what do i know ?

is it nothing but a game?
if it is where are the rules
cuz i'm not sure just how to play
will i watch it all go passing by
just blowing in the wind like everything i thought i knew before
i guess i'll just pretend
be like everybody else
damn i barely know my name
there i was so well adjusted unaware of why i came
when they lock me in the looney bin
i'll tell them where to go
maybe this will be the curtain call
for all the status quo
what do i know ?

i don't know what to say
what do i know ?
i don't know where to go
oh what do i know

&
all that u know
goes right out the window . . .
the more that u grow
the more that u know . . .

*thanks khari*

l o v e .





muhs . jacky baby . nia . hats . teeth . fabulousness .
weds , dec 10 . com's secret show . downtown los angeles .

20081215

attack of the (quasi-)egomaniac .

just when u start to get the best of urself
repeat
"whatever" over & over again till the word starts to feel funny to say
then
take a shot (or two) of vodka .

a lil bird told me that's the key to happiness .
to be nonchalant & drunk .
cue the celebratory trumpets . the ego is back .

back to reality .



this weekend has proved to be a revelation . i'm left to confront my womanhood head on & therefore , make some decisions that will directly affect my happiness . . . or what i thought was happiness .

hmm .

jim was right : ppl are strange . it is what it is . u can't pls em all . u can never fully trust anyone's intentions till they prove themselves to be sincere .

i think i'm just jaded .
i don't know what to think anymore .
i don't know how to feel .
let the cynicism commence . . .

20081209

LA : El Rey . Thursday (dec 11) .




Murs x J*DaVeY .
El Rey Theater .
9pm .
cop tix
&
lets go far out .

*photos courtesy of www.thecobrasnake.com*

project bedhead .










self-portraits from my fave place on earth approximately one year ago .
amazing how much fun u can have while snapping flicks of urself rolling around in the sheets . . .

aaaand we're back .



i just had to grab myself by the shoulders & shake the sense back into me .

stop being serious . . . *shake*

a million idle thoughts float thru my head now that i'm no longer frustrated with ever so faulty modern communication devices . i'm one law down , 47 more to go . here's to completely shaking it off . here's to always keeping my cool . there goes that girl again . . .

just when . . .


i think it's safe to completely lose myself
something called reality snaps me right back into place .
perhaps my woman's intuition is trying to tell me something ? . . .

hmm . . .
had an interesting(ly great) evening . tons of sangria & introspection coupled with a hint of self-consciousness .
i need to refer to my 48 laws yet again .
i need to re-evaluate "the list" . check it twice . perhaps three times .
eyes & ears wide open .
mouth closed .
i know the answers without having to ask .

le rire est sur vous . ha ha .

20081208

28 years ago today . . .



r . i . p . . .

he is risen .



happy 65th baby . ur spirit will forever live thru me . . .

20081206

*swooooon*


my current girl crush . kim ann foxman of hercules & love affair. lets hang out . . .

c u r r e n t l y . . .



....... i'm finishing songs for new designer drug (as it is now being titled)
....... i'm attempting to be a better lover , & by that i do not mean "sexually"
....... i live for oversized , dingy white tees & flannels
....... i'm realizing that some ppl who call themselves ur "friends" may secretly regard u as an enemy
....... i'm making my list & checking it twice
....... i'm content with not sharing so much of myself with those who don't deserve to know
....... i'm enjoying the quiet moments
....... (ironically) i'm bored with (my) other ppl's egos
....... i'm the same as i ever was

cool as usual . . . .

c r a z e .




the Pendant light by Floto + Warner . www.refinery.29.com .

friday night fit .







black ruffle silk slip ...... silence + noise
double tone tights ...... urban outfitters
black asym. pumps ...... chloe
black derby ....... vintage